sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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