i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A bitchslap is in order.
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