turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
