they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
