is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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