It's Friday. Sex?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
