Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
