yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
