On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
did you just send me my own nude
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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