I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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