if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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