I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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