I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
