guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
