So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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