He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize