sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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