She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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