After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
