You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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