I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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