Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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