Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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