woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
