he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
