do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
