Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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