When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
