Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
