i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
