With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
All the doctor said was why
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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