And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
