question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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