How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
