I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize