I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
