i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
3pm strippers are depressing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
