she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
