if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
