i jhust puked up my retainher.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize