butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
