He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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