That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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