The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
