your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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