so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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