Don't you send me to vm
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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