sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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