wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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