I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize