I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
