There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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