after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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