I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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