Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
