took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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